Sunday, February 18, 2018

Letting go

Lost photos
The missing notebook
The ones you thought were here to stay
Letting the unresolved just wash away
It’s never simple
It is a day to day drama until you no longer want to carry the ache any longer
Those memories that were never meant to be forever
Letting it all disappear into a fun beat
Making your soul want for the completely different entirely
Getting you on your feet
Those past entries
And certain people
They can’t apply to the journey you are on now
A path that can only have the genuine
The honest
The true
And the lasting
Taking up your heart from here on into forever
Letting go

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Monday, February 12, 2018

She is Free

She is rarely the first out of the gate running

Though she would like to be

Her spirit is strong

But her story is different

And always has been

She's in this journey for the distance

Hundred mile markers give her such a thrill

And her heart builds up with more emotion than any other of her kind

She takes in every detail

The in-between colors of every sunrise and sunset

Particularly the ones the others don't notice

The shades that haven't been named yet

And so she falls more

She has to work harder

She is often steered into loneliness

To learn and listen to this state's breath

To feel this emotion through her entire being and sit for the truth

The real love in the pain

And she will often appear as if she will never fit into this place

But suddenly...

Out of the sweet rains she garners such strength from...

You'll see her running at record breaking speed

Becoming even more of an enigma than before

But free

She is

And happier than she ever thought she could be

Friday, February 9, 2018

Her Exit

She's tired of living under the ruler of consequence
Her heart is moving
Like a two in the morning New York City goodbye
Because she can't handle any traffic jams
She already sees herself in his arms
Just the thought makes her dizzy with happiness
To be fully free
To get lost
With him she knows all the possibilities could be
All the mandates and standards served their time
Her pretty little spirit is aching so deeply
She's beyond ready
Wanting to go fast without any fear of a crash
Him meeting her sooner than she thought
To go together forever into the sunrise
Her in that short white dress
His soon to be favorite
Them going so far without any judgement calls
She has waited so long
She's ready to make that turn
She's ready to go

Saturday, February 3, 2018

How She Feels

Can you not hear that beat?
With every confirmation from you
You have her heart
She holds your hand in hers
She's taking you to only the most golden soaked places
Because that's the way you make her feel
So alive
She wants to race with you
Never stopping but for the moments she's wrapped in your arms
Just two in this one world
She feels like coming home when she thinks of you
To the Wyoming she left behind
To the beaches she doesn't visit enough
To the stage she has been scared to stand on
Singing her song to no one but you

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

How Do You Heal A Broken Heart?

This may sound dramatic
This may sound self-absorbed
Call it whatever you would like
But I need to know- what do you do with a broken heart?
When the pieces that remain feel like they don't matter at all
The emptiness weighing so heavily on what's left of this heart of mine
No matter what you do you can't stop the hurting
When the pain goes past the memories
And you don't care to recall
The busy doesn't quiet the soul either
You simply wear out eventually from the hurt coming along on every chore
A heavy backpack you can't take off your shoulders
"Time," the people say
That's what heals
It's the only way to heal
And I understand now that this really is the only option that could
Because you can't heal a broken heart
No matter how you try

Monday, January 29, 2018

False Lead

I almost got caught
All the notes matched up
There was the thrill of uncovering something new
Testing me just right
All signs pointed to you
But you were just a false lead
You got my heart beating for no reason at all
And I was all too ready to take this fruitless chance
These past emotions of mine now making me feel like a fool
But I know so many others have traveled down this road too
And I'm sorry that this is a comfort to me today
This all too ordinary road we've all traveled down
It could have been a battlefield
But I made it out just in time
Your tantalizing moves danced the line
Giving this smart girl just enough doubt
As I watched from that safe distance
The flames rising all around what I believed was meant to be

Saturday, January 27, 2018

A Castle Wall

If there was a castle wall she could place around her heart she would

A border not to block but to protect her from the temporary

This girl is so tired of being a costume

Someone to be worn and experienced for a certain time and then just left behind

Continually treated like she doesn't quite make the mark

She doesn't fit

When she gives all of her care to each and every one of you

She doesn't understand because she couldn't do the same

'People come in and people go out'

She has been told time and time again

'That's just life'

If this is true then she wonders how anyone can truly matter to anyone else

How anything can be real if the throwing away can be done so easily

She used to see every person who came in and out as a gift

Now she just feels the hurt

The foolishness for trusting

The ripping

The tearing

And so now she says "No more!"

She doesn't want anyone temporary anymore

So she is building this castle wall if only in her mind

To remind her heart

Enough is enough

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

Her Sunrise

Brush stroked in the blue
Lit clouds
All with no set technique
Just following a feeling
Little did she know this feeling was received through the sound of her quiet longings
The poetry in her heart was heard by you
So that early morning when she decided to seek her answers on the road like she used to-
You had your beautiful show all ready to go
You taking her right back into the girl she truly is
Like the heart beating body slipping back into form after a coma
Another chance
A new life with the girl who has always been there
She was never gone
And this girl never required society's validation
You set the clock back
To the girl who can't stop being enamored with the sky above
And at home on the open road
This girl who needs to be in love
For the past few days her mind has been running wild
Consumed in intoxicatingly sweet imaginings of him holding her like he said he would love to
She put his words on replay to remind herself that someone truly wanted her
But at the end of the day she's alone
And at times this has made her feel lonely and worried about time passing her by
So she had to venture out again
A traveler
Looking for experiences
Never stopping
She needs the deep and lasting in everything
With her right here and right now
It seems you were sent just for her
Wrapping her in your intensely powerful shades
'I'm constantly changing, and I will never leave you,' your colors seem to say
With an echo of 'You're not wrong to believe in what you do, and to desire it all too.'

Friday, January 19, 2018

He's Not Love

You've got to be kidding me
You think you know all about love when you pushed away all those closest to you
You say he's the poster boy for a good man
I'm afraid not, my once upon a time friend
Not when he can't choose between you and her
Not when he's with her but calls you beautiful
You think just because he was raised with the Bible that he lives the scripture
You deserve better
You've had better in the people you denied
But what I need to make clear to you is that I do know love
I live love with everything I do and everything that I am
It's the beat to my heart
So don't tell me that you wish I could meet him and then I would understand love
You kicking me when I was already down
But I'm not scared of falling
Are you?
He's not love to me
Love is imperfect
It's not giving up
It's taking the good with the bad for the one you can't live without
It's wild
It's infuriating
It's taking chances
It's amazing
Stronger than anything
True love comes up against a lot
Would you be able to hang on?
I really don't think so when it's not this clean subject you want and see
Love is honesty
And love is loyalty
He's not love

Monday, January 15, 2018

Back and Forth

Running forward
Abruptly stepping back
My emotions pulling in opposite directions
Makes my heart ache when I want you too
But it’s a love like this wild ocean before me
I know if I run in there will be no returning unless the surf changes
An ending I don’t want
Because I love the way you make me feel
Completely in your kiss
High on your touch
Smiling from my heart with the messages you write
But then I have these dreams pulling me away
Telling me I must choose
And I can’t
Not when my heart is saying to not let this sexy sweet boy go
These emotions are tough to ride but worth the destination
I know
And I must confess that there are days when I don’t see my dreams coming true
But that’s not the kind of girl I want to be for you
I have this fire burning in my soul
So passionately driving forward
As the film reel spins repeatedly on this intoxicatingly wonderful image of us wrapped up together in this ocean I never want to leave
So I choose the back and forth in this crazy love story of mine
Ready and willing for this ride

Friday, January 12, 2018

Blind Love

I can't place it, but I can't shake it-
This feeling of wanting you when I don't know enough about you.
Then again,
maybe I do.
Just like me, 
you're too free to be defined so easily.
Your messages lighting up my phone sets my mind spinning so wonderfully.
You have my heart going from steady to a quick beat.
I don't know how you do it, boy.
You make me feel alive, and you're not even here.
You've got me needing you and wanting you.
And you must know that it's not the attention-
I've been flattered before. 
There's something so very real here.
Any other guy who challenged me so boldly the way you do would have been gone-
But I must admit that I kind of like the way you push me beyond fears I never thought I had.
I don't know how to place it, but I can't shake it-
I'm so open to you and this blind love.

Wednesday, January 10, 2018

My Colors

Please give me the bright
Yellow Sunflowers
Red Roses
Let it all fall into me
Spreading in every direction
Like a firework
But silent
Electrically silent
Let this emotion fill my entire being with the most intensely warm glow
I don't want the meek
I need to see this story for myself
Could it be that I've been told wrong?
Can romance really last?
I choose to believe so
Because the neatly designed doesn't appeal to me anymore
I don't think this way ever did have appeal for this true wildflower
But I was scared for so long
Deleting and editing
Unaware of the yellow and red petals turning white
That's not my color
It's not my life that I've too often masqueraded
So I'm getting a little louder now
I'm becoming a little brighter now
I'm seeing
Soul catching yellow and red

Monday, January 8, 2018

Close To You

She's beginning to fall in love with the way your name sounds coming off her lips-
The vision of your presence becoming as alive as you already are in her heart 
And these days she'll often escape into your arms
Letting her mind take her there
To a warm sun
A large expanse
In the grass
In the sands
Just the two of you
It doesn't matter
She's not hesitant here
She knows you feel the same
There's no question of where this will lead
Forever linked
Forever friends no matter how your worlds turn
Her here
You there
She feels close to you
Lost in your kiss
And complete in your hold